What’s the SECOND worst way to start? -- (Part 2)

If you’re like me, you are always looking for better ways to entice readers into your copy.

Look at the sentence above and you’ll see the second worst way to begin any written communication: with the word “if.” (For the worst beginning, check out this earlier post.)

Why is the if-lead so weak?

One basic human need is the desire to feel special or unique. When you begin a conversation with your readers with “If you are like …” you are taking away that sense of specialness. This blunder is compounded by one of the most common types of if-leads:

“If you’re like millions of Americans, you’ve never considered owning a ferret.”

Now your reader is not only less than unique, he or she is a member of some huge, random collection of people. Though the desire for membership is also a human need, we all want to believe that we are part of a special group, not one of millions.

What’s the worst way to start? -- (Part 1)

If I told you that I was going to reveal the worst technique for starting an article, memo, report or press release, would you believe me?

Look at the sentence above and you’ll see the worst way to begin any written communication: with a question. Why is leading with a question so bad? Here are five reasons:

1. You are forcing the reader to express an opinion before you’ve earned the right to ask. Wouldn’t you bristle if someone you just met started the conversation with a difficult or personal question?

Purge Your Unnecessary Redundancies!

We’ve all had the experience of driving home from work, but not remembering the trip. We jokingly say we were “driving on auto-pilot."

I often have a similar experience while writing. I get lost in thought as I pound out the paragraphs, and am a little astonished when I’m done, not sure how I got there. These first drafts are often filled with cliches, which are usually easy to spot.. A much subtler problem is redundant phrases.

Consider this typical paragraph, written on autopilot:

My personal opinion is that advance planning is absolutely essential for companies who can’t afford to lag behind their competitors. Past experience has shown that the basic fundamentals of planning ahead include developing a general consensus of opinion among staff and carefully scrutinizing all ideas.

That’s 45 words and an average sentence length of 22.5 words. Can reduce those numbers? Yes, if we weed out the words that don’t add to the meaning to the text. Here’s the same graf with the redundant words highlighted:

5 Ways to Improve Your Website’s Readability

In this excellent (and anonymous) blog posting, the writer offers 10 tips for creating effective web copy. The advice is spot-on, though you may have already heard much of it. For instance, the writer notes that marketing copy for the web should stick to the facts and avoid the fluff and squishy claims that work so well in brochures and other print marketing materials.

But there was one tip that really intrigued me: Write for a low literacy audience. Citing a Pfizer study, the author asserts that “43% of web users are ‘low literacy’ users who cannot understand a page written above a Grade 6 level.” I found this claim on several web sites, but was unable to find the original source, so you can take it with a grain of salt. Even so, this strikes me as a sound practice.

I’ve always been a proponent of writing below the reading level of your audience. I can read and (eventually) understand most college-level textbooks. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy curling up with a scholarly passage. Frankly, I’m much happier reading the back of a cereal box.

But 6th grade? That seems like a low bar for the typical website visitor. And although the claim may be true, I can think of several explanations beyond poor reading skills.

Temps in the low single digits forecast for hell

Hopefully, this news won’t irritate you as much as it will the grammar police. Associated Press, publisher of the widely used AP Stylebook, has decreed hopefully that writers and editors will accept its new policy on “hopefully.”  The bottom line: It is now perfectly acceptable to use the word in the sense of “I am hopeful that . . . .”

Hopefully, you won’t count me among those outraged by this change. Although I try to avoid this usage in my own writing – it’s a bit of a cliche -- I’ve long since stopped trying to wean writers off it. The biggest issue I have with the usage is that the reader can’t quite be sure who is expressing this “hope.” In many cases, it is simply the writer voicing his or her own opinion on the matter.

Hopefully, you’ll be judicious in your use of hopefully in its new approved sense. It works best when part of a direct quote. “Hopefully, we’ll have lower food prices next fall,” said Joe Schmo. Now you know who is being hopeful.

Do you have a “but, wait, there’s more!” problem?

Not only am I going to alert you to a common mistake in writing, I’m also going to give you a strategy for correcting the problem.

Did you enjoy reading that sentence? If not, you can blame what I call the “but, wait, there’s more!” syndrome. Here’s another example:

Not only does Whisk laundry detergent get your clothes sparkling clean and stain-free, it also makes them smell like springtime.

Sentences like these are hard on the reader. They say, “remember what I’m saying now, but save some room in your memory for another important thing I’m going to tell you later.” In short, it isn’t nice to leave your reader’s hanging.